Before I get into my post today, I want to apologize. This is my first post in months. In fact, my last post was June 4, when I posted part two of my retrospective on The Godfather. Since the start of this blog, I’ve made it a point to speak to my audience as peers, which means never coming across as condescending or like I’m writing a paper for a graduate class in film studies. My goal has always been for this blog to be an outlet to share my thoughts; a glimpse into my brain, if you will. While I recognize that many of you are not as passionate about the films I may be discussing (or films in general), I just want you to know that I appreciate that you’re even reading my post.
Because of this trust I like to think I’ve built with you, the reader, I’m going to be completely honest with you. There’s that old saying, “if you’re going to be vulnerable, be vulnerable on the internet.” I’m kidding. That’s horrible advice, but it’s precisely what I will do. I’m writing this in September 2025. My father passed away unexpectedly back in April. I’m not here to get philosophical. Death sucks, especially when it’s someone close to you. When I was a kid, my two great-grandmothers died, but I didn’t know them that well, and they were in their nineties (I do remember going to one of their visitations on my birthday).
I lost my maternal grandfather in 2021. He was just shy of 87, but his health was rapidly declining. I would have been just shy of 23 when he passed, and that wasn’t fun, but no death has hit as hard as my dad. Part of that is because the relationship between father and son is different and often stronger than that of a grandson and grandfather. Another factor was that my grandfather was in poor health. Whether anyone wanted to admit it, we knew he was on borrowed time, which perhaps, in a way, allowed me to grieve before he actually passed. With my dad, it was a case of “here one minute, gone the next,” claimed at age 59 by a heart attack. That being said, I’m not here to say that it’s worse to lose someone unexpectedly than to know it’s coming or to say it’s worse to die young. And I’m certainly not saying this to express your sympathy. I guess if I am saying anything, it’s, pardon my French, death fucking sucks.
Additionally, I started a new job in the middle of July, so these last few months have been full of changes. Add to that the uncertainty any young adult faces in their life, especially one with massive creative ambitions, dealing with social anxiety and no connections, and you’ve got a winner. I hope my sarcasm was evident in that last sentence. To quote David Spade in Tommy Boy, “I was laying it on pretty thick.” As I’m sure many of you know, significant life changes bring on a world of challenges. Some days are better than others – I was able to channel my grief into a screenplay, so I was productive on the creative writing front. On other days, your main objective is just to survive. In trying to work on my screenwriting, adjusting to life’s changes, and just trying to get by, I’ve let the blog fall by the wayside. While I may not post as frequently as I would like, I will try to get back into it. Again, this is not being said for sympathy. I’ve made it a point to be transparent with the reader, and I don’t intend to stop now. This is what my life has been like, but I’m hoping to post more as I continue to move forward.
In the spirit of honesty, I will tell you a secret: I either don’t usually publish the posts in the order I write them, or a lot of time has elapsed between writing and publication. For instance, I can look back and say that I published four posts since my dad died, in an effort to keep the momentum going. That obviously didn’t work, but I know I had been sitting on those titles for months before posting. When my dad died, I was writing about many action movies, including the Daniel Craig Bond movies, the Bourne, John Wick, and Mission: Impossible franchises. I can look back at the dates of those drafts and see that the only entries I had written (but not published yet) after his death, were for new releases, Ballerina and Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning. I could start with them, and I will get to them, but I’m taking this blog into a different direction. In preparation for his next film, One Battle After Another, Film Streams, Omaha’s local arthouse theater, has been showing Paul Thomas Anderson films. This blog has always been in the back of my mind, but after walking out of There Will Be Blood, I knew this was my re-entry into this blog. After this little preamble, I will post my series on the films of Paul Thomas Anderson, one entry at a time, until we reach his latest.
This post was very odd, but I felt compelled to write it. It felt good to get this off my chest and start fresh. If you took the time to read this post, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’re the reason I keep this blog going. Watch for my next post when I discuss Anderson’s first film, Hard Eight (aka Sydney).